F.A.Q.  (Frequently Asked Questions)

1.)What is erotic massage and how is it different from non-erotic massage?
2.)What takes place during the session?
3.)Is the session therapeutic as well as erotic?
4.)What techniques do I use?
5.)Does the massage always end with an orgasm?
6.)Am I open to interaction and mutual touching?
7.)I'm a first time client and I'm really nervous!
8.)Scheduling and Preparing for the Session:
9.)Why is my price so cheap?
10.)What about tipping?




1.)What is erotic massage and how is it different from non-erotic massage?

For many people,(including unfortunately some in the massage business), erotic massage is nothing but a codeword for old fashioned prostitution, conjuring images of a sloppy rubdown ending in a rushed release, in a tacky room with black velvet paintings. Things are changing, though. Now there are a range of professionally trained body workers, and organizations like Body Electric, who agree on one thing: there badly needs to be a change in attitude about the sharing of erotic touch. It's not just that we're still too embarrassed and ashamed of our bodies, whatever our shape, size, color or age, but that we don't know how to break down the barriers separating us from each other and from a truly satisfying sensual connection. Not only do we worry about rejection; we're not sure what to DO with each other erotically. Even when we rely on a short list of sexual positions and practices, we often come away from the experience less that satisfied. With all of this sexual baggage our culture burdens us with, its no wonder many of my clients who have never experienced sensual massage before are understandably nervous, even terrified, at the start of the session. Don't feel there's something wrong with you for feeling this way!

Let me tell you how I'm trying to help change the way we think about erotic bodywork. First of all, for me, ALL forms of massage are inherently erotic. A massage doesn't suddenly become sexual if the masseur decides to reach over and grab some of your private parts. It's erotically charged from the moment you take your clothes off and lay down, and he begins touching your skin, and you feel the wonderfully various sensations of pleasure that come from his use of oils, light and deep pressure, thumbs, fingers, forearms, elbows, legs. The masseur who recognizes this fact about what they do will give a more pleasurable massage, whether or not there is ever any touching of specifically 'sexual' parts of the body (and there doesn't have to be if you prefer not). I think the best way to think about the sensuality of massage is not all or nothing, (i.e. either it's erotic or its 'strictly non-sexual'), but along a spectrum of erotic intensity or energy(Check out this talk and masturbation video I did for Body Electric a number of years ago).

Some of my clients choose a nude, sensual massage without orgasm, while for others I gradually ratchet up the erotic intensity over the course of my bodywork session till it ends in orgasm. (Obviously this kind of erotic bodywork falls on the more intense side of the spectrum). Either way, the single most important thing I have learned about erotic touch through my years of doing bodywork is that what matters is not WHAT is done(massage, oral, hand job, etc) but HOW it is done. A session devoted to nothing but the caressing of the feet can be more erotically satisfying than anal sex, if it is done in just the right way.

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2.)What takes place during the session?

My goal is to create an environment where we both lose ourselves in the world of the erotic. Candelight, a softly playing background range of jazz, classical and modern music, and warm temperature setting set the stage. You have the choice of massage table or futon(which I prefer for the freedom it offers me). I normally don't talk during the massage, since I think it disrupts the mood I want to create. (If you happen to enjoy conversation while being massaged I'm more than happy to oblige). I have you begin on your stomach fully nude, as I am(If you prefer to wear briefs that's fine,too). I like being nude because it enables me to use all parts of my body at different points in the massage, not just hands but also forearms, thighs, cheeks, legs.I want you to be able to lose yourself in the touch. Each area I cover should be its own world of sensation, and each should flow into the next like when listening to a piece of music, as an organic flow rather than a mechanical process.

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3.)Is the session therapeutic as well as erotic?

Many clients come to me with complaints of major muscle soreness. I have clients who are marathon runners, dancers and trainers. As far as I'm concerned, erotic bodywork isn't complete unless it includes the relief of pain and stress in such problem areas as the neck, shoulders, upper and lower back, and legs ( talk about an 'orgasmic' feeling!). I spend a good portion of the session focusing on these areas, using as firm and strong a pressure as you are comfortable with.

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4.)What techniques do I use?

I combine a variety of techniques, including Shiatsu, Swedish and Accupressure, and am able to vary pressure from penetratingly deep(but not painful!)to very light touch, depending on your needs or requests. A few clients of mine enjoy the entire massage to be nothing but feather-light touch, which can be exquisite. Whatever techniques I incorporate into any given massage session are all informed by a massage philosophy I call Haptic Music .
I don't like excessive use of oils, since they reduce the skin's sensitivity to touch. I prefer to use a non-greasy hypoallergenic lotion which moisturizes without leaving the skin feeling saturated in gook(I have both hypo-allergenic and lightly scented). You 're welcome to shower after the session, although I think you'll discover that you won't need to.

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5.)Does the massage always end with an orgasm?

While most clients consider orgasm to be a natural form of completion of the erotic massage, I don't believe that climax is necessary in order to enjoy a complete sensual experience. I see many individuals who, due to health issues such as prostate surgery, high blood pressure or anti-depressant medication, are unable to achieve erection or climax. I have also had clients who simply wanted to de-emphasize the attention to climax in order to focus on more subtle and holistic aspects of the erotic experience(The Body Electric group uses breathing exercises as a route to a kind of orgasm without genital manipulation). The point is that orgasm itself does not have to be considered the end-all and be-all of erotic enjoyment. Everyone has probably had the experience of an intensely exciting sexual encounter that did not end in ejaculation, as well as disappointing encounters where the climax was utterly unmemorable because the rest of the experience lacked connection and imagination. Clearly, a climax is not just a climax; every orgasm is different, just as every sexual encounter is different. I approach each session with the aim of exploring and expressing a unique sensual mood, tapping into my current state of mind and feeling in order to create a 'music' of eroticism linking my body to your body. I am constantly listening to your body's responses to my touch, adjusting my pacing, rhythm and strokes until I approach that zone of synchrony and unity with you.

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6.)Am I open to interaction and mutual touching?

My concern, and great joy, as erotic bodyworker is not what you can do for me, how good looking you are or how you might entertain me erotically, but what kind of experience I can create for you. I know that many clients do not want to be just passive recipients. Giving as well as receiving pleasure is an important part of the erotic experience for many. I always enjoy mutual touch, and you should free to ask about any reciprocal activity you might like to try. I'm always open to exploring new things. In my practice, at the suggestions of my clients I've occasionally delved into everything from bondage and spanking, to dressing up in various items of clothing and foot worship.

Having said that, the most enjoyable type of session for me is one where the client allows me to perform for them what I am best trained to do and what satisfies me the most:I want to play your body in the ways that I have learned how over the course of my career, to take you to an erotic peak you won't forget. So what I try to avoid is interaction that is too unstructured,that runs the risk of degenerating into the kind of blind free-for all that can drain all the nuance, creativity and sensuality from the session. It's kind of like a singer sharing a song with an audience that wants to sing along. An incredible jam session can sometimes result from the interaction, but if there's no coordination, the result is just noise! All I ask is that you give me a chance to show you and teach you what I've learned to do, the music I can play for you. Let me know your wishes, and I'll tell what what I'm comfortable with and try to integrate it into my own approach.

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7.)I'm a first time client and I'm really nervous!

Believe me, I get it. Taking your clothes off and exposing the most personal parts of your body to the hands of a total stranger can be terrifying for a lot of reasons. I could try putting you at ease by telling you how empathetic, kind and considerate I am(it's true!), and that I embrace all body types, shapes and medical conditions(also true!). I could promise that I will listen intently to and honor your requests and concerns(I will!). Maybe it will help if I give you a chance to get to know me through this video that I made a number of years ago for Body Electric. I babble entusiastically for 15 minutes about my philosophy of erotic touch, and then jack off for the camera. It shows me as the goofy, idealistic nerd that I am. Maybe it will help you get to know me a little before we get together.

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8.)Scheduling and Preparing for the Session:

Although the best way to guarantee that I am available is to book a session with me a day or two before our appointment time(You can book a month or more in advance, too), I try to be available on a moment's notice(or at least a half hour or so). I highly recommend showering before the session, not just from a hygiene standpoint but because it increases the sensitivity of your skin's nerve endings. You are certainly welcome to shower at my place. Also, try not to have big meal or too much liquid just before massage. It may make you feel bloated, and make it more difficult for you to relax. I also suggest avoiding alcohol, poppers, Viagra and other forms of artificial aids before the session, since I think they block off sensitivity to, rather than enhance, what we're trying to accomplish.

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9.)Why is my price so cheap?

I have always strongly believed that serious erotic bodywork should be affordable. The experience of touch is too important to our emotional and spiritual well-being to be restricted to the wealthier among us. I don't need to charge more than I do to live comfortably. I think the reason the price of most erotically oriented bodywork seems so high has less to do with the quality of the service you're paying for than because you're being charged a kind of 'sin tax'. The more hung- up a culture is about sex, the higher the prices. As the shame factor begins to fade, not just among clients but among bodyworkers, too, the prices will start dropping. Also, the quality of erotic bodywork should actually improve as the hustler mentality that is still too prevalent in our business is replaced by confident, skilled bodyworkers who 1)love what they do 2)see what they do as an expressive art requiring thought and skill just like any other art 3) continue to refine their art and actively contribute to groups and institutions which teach and promote serious approaches to erotic and sensual bodywork 4)place these creative goals above simply making money.

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10.)What about Tipping?

I don't expect an automatic tip. Massage is expensive enough ,so I understand. If you feel generous and especially liked it, then a gratuity is much appreciated!

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